Life, Love, and Death

If I time this wrong the ocean waves will crash into me and call me back into the sea.
I can see panic and fear in the girl I’m with as she watches in the safety of the shore.
I know this was a dangerous idea, that’s why I did it.
The waves here are minute mountains that crumble on the shoreline rocks.
If you time it just right you can run between the breaking waves and venture into caves and onto tiny desolate Islands.
The tiny Island I am perched upon caught my eye from above.
My heart was set on it, and I follow my heart.
Making it here was graceful, the tides were in my favor.
But I wanted to meditate and rest on this unique place and surrender into mindspace.
But I lingered too long in the void and the tide came in.
Soon enough the waves are crashing over my Island and I’m left clinging as each wave tries to drag me into the deep blue.
The ocean mother is a giver of life, and a devour of her own children
Every dozen seconds I am bashed and beaten like a drum.
I’m struggling and she can see it.
We catch eyes and I cannot hide or lie, I am scared.
I have two options: I can try and predict when the two smaller waves will hit, then sprint between them, cling onto the rocks, and continue to dash between rocks praying a large wave doesn’t rip me out from under. Or I can try to climb the near vertical cliff and make it through the tenacious and prickly plants.
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I choose the former.
My adrenaline is punching, and there is no ease in my heart as it is pounds. Again and again, the waves pulse and roll over me. If I wait much longer I will be torn into the sea. I try and surrender to my body, but I’m pulled from my center.
“There’s no fucking small waves”. I begin to panic.
I looked over to my friend and I can see that she is praying
A dark cloud forms in my mind’s sky.
I can’t do this
I revert to option number two, and begin to climb the rock wall. Heights aren’t my Savvy, but neither is drowning. My body is fired with electrical energy, and I’m shaking as I reach my four limbs higher and higher. I reach a quiet spot near the top and I catch my breath.
You can’t buy this kind of silence
I look to my friend and I read her eyes, they scream, “I can’t believe I followed you on another one of your stupid adventures, if you make it out alive, I’m going to kill you.”
I can’t help but smile, and allow some joy to creep in.
I think to myself, “I didn’t put any sunscreen on, I’m probably going to burn.”
Life is a dark comedy
Tuning back into my situation I inspect my environment and my heart drops.
The ease is ripped away.
The final portion of the uppermost cliff is impossible to climb. This time, I think to myself, “just don’t look at her, she’s way too intuitive, she’ll read your fear like a book.
Fuck, I’ve wasted a lot of time, the tide is crawling in and my body is beginning to tire in this hot sun.”
I make up my mind, there’s one option, I know what I need to do. I climb down with meditative mindfulness. I reach my now tiny rock spire, and the first big wave that hits rips me from my grip and tosses me down onto a lower spire.
Like a wild animal I crawl on all fours and sink my claws back into the rock. I hug it like a lizard and look out into the sea. My eyes cannot see which waves are big or small they’re all tall terrors.
Every cell in my body becomes aroused and the message is clear
Now!
I leap from my rock and dive into the ocean. My mind is 2 ft in front of me, I see only success. Holding my breath I find a surface to hold as the next wave bites me and rips my legs towards the ocean’s dark mouth. My body is pulled out to sea but my will to live is strong and I hold onto the rock. The water vacuums and I’m left with some space to hustle to the next rock. A large wave hits but does no damage. I make one last run and then I’m safe.
I laugh.
I laugh from my belly for all to hear.
For what else can you do?
I run to hug and hold my friend and she returns my gesture but not my emotion.
My heart is calm and hers is still pounding.
We make love on the beach as the waves crash down all around.
The greatest moments of life are lived in death’s shadow.
Death -the unknown- impregnates life with meaning.
Your life is momentary, you live and you die, forget this and fall into a deep sleep.
Live in the awareness of death and awaken.
You have 37 trillion cells.
37 trillion centers of awareness, each a separate ‘I am’, and in moments of danger, and in deep love and passion, every one of your cells becomes awakened.
Live only in the soft security of mediocrity and your cells sleep.
Rest is good, routine is good, sleep is good. But rest only and you are already resting in peace, you have died before you have died. You have become a rock. Your heart is stone, it knows not love.
As we develop we pass through stages, a newborn becomes a child, a child a teen, Etc. In each of these stages there is a pressure to push qualities aside from the former stage to allow for new traits to emerge. When the child becomes an adult there’s a pressure to push aside play and to grow up and become mature. Yes, we must make room for new responsibilities, but the mistake is to lose the precious qualities of the former stage.
A sage never loses the wonder of a child.
He never loses the risk-taking of his teens.
He ages, but he never gets older, just wiser.
It’s sad to see an adult who is merely an adult. He has lost his play, he has lost his heart, he is in a deep sleep, he works, he reproduces, and then he dies.
He may design software, he may be married, but he is in a deep sleep. He has forgotten himself, he has forgotten love, and he passes his slumber onto his wife and his children.
He may crave romance, to dance, and to make love to a new woman, but he will not admit it to you, or even to himself. What is his truth, his desire, and his true emotions are guarded even from himself. They may surface in dreams, he may coax his desires with compulsions, he may even appear happy, but he lives in a cage.
He was born free, and he has imprisoned himself.
At one time society told him something and he listened, and now he is grown, he does not realize he’s keeping himself from waking up. He may meditate, he may pray. He will be in the churches, he will practice yoga, and do good deeds. He will teach spirituality, and he will do it all while sleeping, what a beautiful dream he is having, if only he could wake up and live it.
It does not matter what you do, or what you think you are. To know the Self is to know that you are not that. You think you are a king and you are a beggar. You think you are good and you are the devil. One of realization knows that he is not, he is not this, or that, he is free. One of realization has no religion or laws. Each moment he is awake, and each moment he makes a decision, there is no rule, no gita, he lives in the heart of the moment.
Religions push laws, for they keep society in balance.
One of realization sees the unity behind beyond Good and Evil. They are beyond duality. They see that there can be no black without white, no day without night, and no shadow without light.
Then why do so many realized beings do great good?
Some do. Some don’t.
It’s all perspective. The great do-gooders cause wars down the line. Good turns to bad, bad turns to good.
People of realization are free.
People of realization have so much to give because when your cup is full, you share it, it is a natural impulse. If your heart is full of a love which never ends you simply give it away and it makes no difference. You give it because you can, not because you have to, you simply give it away and it makes no difference. You give it because you can, not because it is law or because of karma. You are free. You have nothing to prove to yourself or others in this life, you have nothing to attain to. You are free and full, so you give, it is natural.
Those who pretend to love are lying, they are sleeping, they are dreaming that they are loving.
Honesty and Truth is the way.
Be authentic and allow love to blossom in you. You cannot effort and will yourself to love someone, don’t ever pretend, love is too precious to lie to. Look inside yourself, there is Love in your Heart, find it, water it, follow it where it leads you, whether that’s into dangerous shores near the ocean, or into a romance that will one day die. This is not religion, there is no path, no destination, no rules, just the faith to follow what moves you.
Enough for today

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