Part 1 – Brief History
Have you ever had a catastrophic break-up? My last break-up was 4 years ago, and it was the catalyst for the path I now walk as a breathworker, yoga and movement instructor, guide, coach, and tantric teacher. Though the seeds of this life were planted before our departing, when that relationship ended, I gathered all my energy towards my purpose. And , one of the first things my higher spirit called me to do was move into a term of celibacy.
At the time I had practiced semen retention, but celibacy is a whole other ball-game. After a few months in a sweat lodge ceremony I announced -much to my surprise- that I was going to continue this celibacy for a year. Which was a true testament to the higher Will beginning to operate and speak for my life – I’m just along for the ride.
The first year brought countless jewels of wisdom and a deep healing in my capacity to be and relate to women on the level of love. When the thought of sex is not silently dancing in the background of every interaction it opens up new pathways. With the subconscious no longer seeking sexual gratification, it was easy to orientate my time towards spiritual practice. Which is an important part of becoming a Tantric yogi and transcending the old structures of sex and imbuing new consciousness into the act.
After my year of celibacy was up, I just carried on without sex. Because my spiritual practice was several hours a day and I had switched to a vegetarian diet, my testosterone was low, and my life energy was not pulled towards women, but rather to praying. But, I never made another vow to go another year….though almost a year went by…. Almost!
I met her at a multi-day event, and I can still remember the moment we locked eyes. It was not the usually sexual flare and tingle that happens in the testicles, it was more akin to the upward spiraling of DNA evolving at multiple levels of my being. Our romance started slow… I would express it like this….in many relationships or encounters with women I’ve had it had often started from the physical, then moved to the mental-emotional, and some graduated to the spiritual level of connection. This new romance would pave the way for all future romances to start at the level of spirit, and then would ripple down, with physical intimacy being the final process of union. Our love was a marvelous conscious exploration into multi-levels of our being, which for both of us were clear and fresh. There was a natural coming together, and within a short period there was an acknowledgement of both our separate paths, and then there was a conscious separating, which ended in a friendship…one that is still near and dear to me. Which for me, broke a vicious pattern of having lovers who I deeply connected with, then when the romance ended, the relationship and connection would too. Once again, this laid seeds for new patterns that would continue to emerge and the work of the higher spirit guiding the path and the surrendering to the way was apparent.
After our separation I had to deal with the new activation of my sexual energy. As I mentioned, I had low testosterone and was very deep into my spiritual practice and had little interested in sex for the first year and a bit. But now I understood the spiritual value of sex as a catalyst for growth of everyone involved, and this led me to deeply explore Tantra and Taoist sexual practices among others.
Part 2 – Becoming Multi-orgasmic
At the time, my level of spiritual practice was at 4-6 hours a days, with longer periods on weekends. As I began to integrate Tantric self-pleasure, my practiced flourished and I quickly became an adept. In the beginning I would pleasure myself ~10 times a day.
How did I begin? It began by bringing myself close to the point of arousal then doing 1 of 2 things.
- Learning to pull the sexual energy back into my body, and pull it up my spine.
- Simply allowing myself to calm down once aroused, and re-conditioning the pattern of needing to release ejaculation.
It is very important to understanding that orgasm and ejaculation are not the same process. Ejaculation is the release of seminal fluids that is paired with a huge drain of energy is the system. Orgasm is an ecstatic release of energy that can happen without ejaculation, and it can happen to any cell, or at the level of the chakras, or larger energetic centers. Thus, genital orgasm is possible, as well as heart orgasm, or brain orgasm’s…each brings a new awakening of dormant energy, each results in different biochemical pathways and unique releases and experiences.
The benefits of the release of energy from the chakras and from the cells is awakening (increased awareness). Therefore, orgasm has the capacity to evolve an individual at an accelerate rate. When beginning, it is important to know that the best orgasms come when the sexual energy can make it near the tip of penis, then be brought back in and up to the higher centers. That being said, if your beginning your probably going to mess up many times. Smile, then forgive yourself, because it is often paired with shame or guilt, then get a good rest and proper nutrition, and continue to practice.
When I was celibate for near 2 years, I stopped using porn. In that time, I became increasingly aware that it has negative draw backs in my capacity to love women, to connect on a spiritual level, and it resulted in poor masturbation habits, in that I became very unconscious, and out of my body while I self pleasured. I would focus on the porn and the tip of my shaft. There was no spiraling motions, slapping, rubbing, slow teasing, playing with other holes, no emotions, no spiritual value…It was all cut and dry. However, when I became sexual activated again, I started to be tempted to watch porn again. And I’m one to consciously explore something if it is a tempting me, I don’t repress and shove things down. So I decided to use porn images only, and wow did it ever activate my sexual excitement. I started to use porn in a much more conscious and respectful manner, being conscious while I touched myself, and being sensitive to the sites and content I was using. But eventually, it accelerated from pictures to videos…then, eventually, to be honest, I got bored. So I just randomly stopped using porn, a good sign that it was not addicting to my nervous system, and it was an important conscious exploration along the path.
Advancing your technique involves knowing different stroke patterns and learning to building your energy awareness. I will say, my background in yoga and movement practices creates the perfect internal conditions for energy awareness. So I encourage anyone who wants to be multi-orgasmic to have a yogic and qigong practice…but, not simply any yoga practice, the pranic process of activating energy in the body during asanas, then taking that energy and moving it through the shushumna nadi (the spine), and up into the brain. This movement of energy is the pathway to higher consciousness, and it is the same pathway that sexual energy travels to reach higher brain areas.
Explaining the full process of learning to bring energy through the shushumna is a bit out of the reach of this article, but it’s something I teach in-person. The brief explanation in the context of sexual pleasure is to arouse the sexual energy first. Then pair contractile forces with an inhalation and a squeezing upwards. Example…contract the shaft, base of penis, pelvic floor, anus, rectum, navel point, pull in and up on stomach, pull up diaphragm, gently pull shoulders together, pull up on then choke the throat by drawing chin toward chest, roll eyes up, stick tongue to roof of mouth, then squeeze. Thus, first we create the pathway step by step for the energy to flow, then we contract and move the sexual energy through the pathway. As you continually do this over and over through your sessions and over days and weeks this pathway becomes consolidated in your energy body and it becomes easier and easier.
In addition, sexual practices and warm up exercises for the genitals are important. These involves slapping the balls, stroking the shaft paired with breathing, massaging, drawing circles around the anus, pulling, squeezing, and other practices that enliven the area with energy, circulation, and teach control.
When I finally unlocked my first big multi-orgasm I did it by using an activating breath called orgasm breath – another breath that is best to be taught in person. This breath can open the body and create better orgasms. It involves breathing in and out the mouth, and making sound on the inhale and exhale…it begins with low moans and contractions and movements of the sex centers, and you raise your tone, and raise your awareness through your body till your screaming in pleasure and your energy is at the top of your head, and then you bring it back down. This moaning and releasing of the voice happens spontaneously in love making, and thus, the science of Tantra is to understanding sex, and perfect each individual piece to its fullest.
It is important to note that the process energy management during Tantra is not simply about bringing it up to the head. When we bring large amount of energy to the head it can relate to full body orgasms, and higher brain states, but it also releases and wastes a lot of the energy…therefore, it is important to learn to bring the energy up to the head, and back down to the stomach or lower dantien in Qigong. In our stomach area, we can store the energy we build up during sexual and spiritual practice. There are many pathways which on can circulate energy through the body, you can bring it up and down the spine…or you are bring it up the spine and down the front of the body and circle it around in a loop known as the microcosmic orbit.
When I became multi-orgasmic my sensuality increased ten-fold. You may notice this even when you begin to delay ejaculation that you are much more interested in women, and they are more interested in you – sexual viability is in the air. But, when I say sensuality, I am referring to the second chakra and its relationship to pleasure…it is a pleasure center, and a sensual one at that. Even while not having sex, there is a sensuality involved in someone who lives in their 2nd center….when they eat it is sensual, when they move it is sensual, it is an aura or energy about them that is attractive. And because the sexual center is a creative center, the energy can be circulated to other centers to empower them, which relates to why sexual energy cultivation is linked with manifesting, love, and increased energy for projects and goals.
Because I’m a wild human, I explore my chakras in deep detail. One ceremony I took several hundred micrograms of acid and when to the forest for the night. This was my first grand-great-ultimate orgasm, which was a full body, throbbing, pulsing, contracting, screaming bliss for 2 + hours. Because of how much energy was being released from my system, this completely changed my energy, and obviously created the contrasting space to enter a deep stillness and meditation. Part of the reason why this activation was so strong was because my massaged my genitals and anus for hours. I would roll on a tennis ball while doing breathwork, clearing any blockages in the nervous system and fascia, and opening new energetic pathways that linked my sexual region with my central channel. Furthermore, I do this practice -viewer discretion advised-, where I’m fasted and I squat naked. I pump my breath, similar to kapalabhati, which is a clearing breath, and I squeeze my organs, especially my anus and rectum. As I do this for 20-30 minutes, I begin to develop a flowing rhythm that sends waves down my intestines and rectum…I then cultivate the capacity to push out and pull in my rectum. For you see, the capacity to raise our energy and especially sexual energy involves the energetic pulling up of the body, thus, by spending time learning to know and control my internal organs, I have build a radically strong capacity to draw sexual energy and clear blockages deep within my system.
There was a term where I would orgasm multiple times a day every day. Then, frankly, I got bored. Do I want to orgasm again? Nah, just a walk is good too. I entered this space where sex, and sexuality was great, it never lost its flavour, but since I had explored that form of pleasure so deeply, it no longer called out to me. This transition allowed me to truly focus more of my energy and intelligence on love, my service and projects. Which is a powerful teaching, that it can be important to fully explore something until it finds it is fullest expression, then it will naturally be transcended. And I don’t necessarily mean I have transcended sex, and no longer desire it. But, the desire is not the same, It’s a desire that I recognize that is subservient to the higher will’s desire. The desire is there for me when I choose to consciously explore it, but it holds no powerful sway of addictive quality that guides my life force. This scenario of loving sex, but not needing sex is an important Tantric transformation. Because my capacity to give love and pleasure increased ten-fold when I no longer needed a certain level of gratification for satisfaction, I was free to offer pleasure from a place of already being satisfied…which allows for me to get to know individual on the highest soul and spiritual level, without the sexual energy taking a dominant place in the equation of our interaction. And if the relationship flourishes and the connected is deep, when the physical aspect of the relationship happens, then the act becomes more significant and a more powerful accelerant of spiritual evolution.
Part 3 – Conclusions
I have spoken much, but I have not scratched the surface because a transmutation of energy and awakening through sexual cultivation practice has grossly and subtlety changed everything about me. A few last notes to share. I am currently not for or against the use pornography. Yes, there is some shady business with porn, and yes there is an addictive and negative side to it…but there is also space for a beautiful and tasteful side… so I choose not to judge and remain neutral. In my own practice, I have found the greatest orgasms are one’s where I am not only physical aroused, but emotional, mentally, and spiritual stimulated… thus, if I simply self-pleasure without feeling emotionally involved with the person, the pleasure is less and it can lower my vibration.
Learning to work with my sexual energy has offered me deep respect for the feminine. A deep honouring and sacredness has developed, and not just with the women I am intimate with, but my mother, and grandmother, and most notably, my capacity to have girls who are friends or sisters. When one can truly be safe within themselves, they open the door to love other people, especially women can feel that level of safety in your presence. I always approach connections, especially with women, as if they can read my deepest thoughts, and through this process I stay deeply aware of my thoughts and feelings and whether they are of value to my (and our) highest evolution…and in truth, when you deeply move into love, lovers can basically read your thoughts! Which can sound scary, but if your committed to living in truth, it’s actually the most freeing thing.
It’s an honour to share these teachings. Because when I first started practicing Tantra, my life started to make sense. I was always a hyper-sexual human, and finding Tantra felt like I knew the material for ages and ages – which may have truth to it. The Tantric path is not for everyone, though some level of tantric sexuality is available for most anyone who is ready to reclaim their sexuality in a new and more conscious way, for their evolution, and for the shared evolution of humanity. My love and teachings extend not merely to the sexual act, but the whole art of intimacy, which is like a wheel, wherein emotional, mental, and spiritual connection is as important as any other part. These are teachings of the times, we are ready to expand our sexual consciousness, and our capacity to be and relate to others. Through the Tantric movement I see new levels of conscious relating occurring, new ways of pair bonding, new ways to expressing love, and finding the balance between our own inner masculine and feminine, and yes, SO much good love-making! I thank you for reading.
If anything has sparked interest in you, please reach out.
Areas to focus on:
- Breathwork
- Yoga
- Sexual kung fu
- Energetically pulling the energy up
- Contraction and release of genitals, pelvic floor, and anus
- Emotional intimacy
- Massaging techniques
- Meditation
- Determining your spiritual relationship with sex, and what is spiritually in alignment with your sexual practices
- Honouring yourself and your partner
- Self-love and connection
- Balance of sexual energy
- Utilizing sexual energy for manifestation, love, and liberation
I realize I did not mention many of these, stay in tune for more content, or leave a comment which area you’d like me to focus more attention on
Bless!
- Aya
zkcoaching.ca 