The woman I fell in love with is named Trust.
When she told me I did not believe her.
We met when we were ready to meet ourselves.
She was in the last place I looked.
Buried deep in a carved wooden cupboard, under a jumble of old stories I wrote when I was a kid.
She’s not how imagined her to be.
Her mind is like the gentle stream I use to sit by to find peace.
Her smile blossoms like the garden my mom would grow each year.
We were walking one day on a rainy spring afternoon. I remember it well, the sky was grey and the rain drops were small and timid, except every once in awhile a big ol’ heaven’s tear would sploosh on my nose.
There was no conversation in the air.
There was an empty silence I thought I’d never know in the company of another.
I’ll never forget that day.
On another occasion… I think it was mid-june…. I can’t quite remember. She’s got a mind for dates. Maybe it was July? I’ll have to ask her later.
Somewhere between June and July…. it was another rainy day. The rain was symphonic then, and we had both forgotten our jackets. While we were walking down the trail along Adler’s pond she stumbled over a rock and nearly tumbled into the old green water.
The moment she stumbled – not a second before or after, im sure of it – my body sprung into action to leap and catch her. Gratefully she caught her own balance as I would have been too slow to catch her fall.
I remember it well because I didn’t choose to act… and it was not a simple reflex…because my heart opened as I moved. Love guided me then, and has for many years… and we’ve always walked just a little bit closer after that day.
Before I met her, I use to spend a lot of time.
Do you know what I’m saying?
Time was money.
When I found Trust, I remembered play time.
I’d like to share a practice we have…
We start off by standing about a meter apart.
We look into one another’s eyes and with our hands up we feel into each other’s mental field and through heart coherence we tune into what’s been going on with the other.
Sometimes I get the sense her mind has been weighed down by a limiting belief. I simply hold the field with love.
Then we take a step in and feel into the emotional field. Sometimes I can feel her frustration buzzing… or the heaviness of sadness
We take another step in till we can almost touch, and we focus on the physical energy field.
We stay in each field in so long as we need to to feel a shift. The shift is an internal transmutation of the energy in the presence of bring held in love.
Sometimes it takes awhile to get close because there’s so much under the surface. When we are ready to touch, there’s nothing in between us.
This practice is special to me.
And it’s just one of the ways love has taught us to purify our minds to show up in our highest.
She sometimes teases me about the first moment we met when I didn’t believe her name was Trust.
And I make fun of her when she didn’t trust me that my name is Surrender.