Zen

To eat when hungry

To drink when thirsty

To rest when tired

The true life of a sage

 

In Zen there is no goal

There is nothing to attain to

Nothing to strive for

 

What a peculiar way, in contrast with our busy lives of desire and pursuit

In the West, there is a great urgency to do and be ten-thousand things

Zen is a refreshing way of simply being as you are

 

In zen…

When one sits, they simply sit

When one eats, they simply and mindfully eat

If they are thirsty, they drink

And when they are tired, they rest

 

Its simple, yet profound

For how many people do you know who live in this way?

When most people sit, they think ten-thousand things

They lay in bed and think ten-thousand things

They drink coffee when tired, and ten-thousand things

 

Zen is an entirely different way of being

To live simply is to live wholly in the moment

For how can we be present when our minds are filled with ten-thousand things?

 

The heart of Zen lies in mindfulness

Being fully absorbed In the present moment

To live in this way, is to know the true joy Being

It is to fully enjoy the gift of breath

Mindfully breathing in

Mindfully breathing out

There is nothing so blissful as breathing for the one who’s mind is not filled with ten-thousand things

 

The meditation practice that Zen monks follow is called zazen

It has no aim or objective

It will not help you to get anywhere

It will not help you to achieve enlightenment

Zazen is simply sitting and watching

 

It is the act of allowing all that is to be as it is

It is to become completely free of resistance to life

It is to become the watcher

 

As one learns to get out of their own way, they recapture the essence of spontaneity

We were all once perfectly random

Children are this way

You need not teach a child to be spontaneous

But are patterns become habitual, and our thoughts routine, and we lose the essence of freedom

We walk in straight lines, we act in a consistent pattern of personality, and we become predictable

 

Zen offers a different way

It offers a reclamation of the naturalness that is within each person to be a truly unique and spontaneous creation

It is the essence of freedom

For spontaneity comes from an effortless allowing of your Being to flower in each moment

It’s a true letting go

There is no effort involved

It is a simple allowing

Its not something to be attained, for it was within you all along

Your essential nature is pure and spontaneous and free

Its waiting for you to simply be

 

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Zen poems

At the end of my life I will have achieved nothing
I will be nobody
I will have said nothing
Hallelujah
What a relief

In my younger years I would oscillate between states Doing and Being
I had something to prove to myself, and then to the world
There was a pull to accomplish something great with my life
What is my legacy?
A legacy is goal, it’s an orientation devise to move towards. But a goal is something in the future, and as soon as it is reached, we create a new goal, and there is no satiation
I have sparse evidence in my life to prove that I know what I want, thus far the greatest treasures of my life are unexpected gifts
There’s scanty evidence to suggest our culture knows what it needs to be happy, we are the most privileged generation to ever live, and still we are not the most joyful and loving

Why?
Here’s a start…
The world is full of Doers, moving outwardly with great inertia, and this world is paying for it
If we are always Doing something, even if it’s with the best of intentions, then when will we have time to be receptive to life and simply Be? If we are always chasing desires, how will we be satisfied?
If we cannot live within the balance of Doing and Being, we will never truly be present in the Now
Doing, is outward action, when we are always moving in this way how can we say we are truly present… Each one of your 100 trillion cells has an awareness, how aware can you possibly be of yourself when you are always doing ten-thousand things outside yourself, and never spending the time to awaken your own Being
It is estimated that there at least billions more cells in your body, than stars in the sky
You can become aware of the cells in your body, how many stars will you be able to travel to in your lifetime?

The world outside ourselves is finite, and if we use it to satiate our infinite desires we will devour our planet
The world inside is infinite
The depth of love in each of your hearts is endlessly deep

Humans are always searching to be boundless
We want more money
We want more property
Each day we wish to expand and grow
There is a part of you that always wants to transcend its bound and become closer to infinity
So long as you seek to boundlessness in a finite realm, you will only chase
When you seek the infinity within, you can become boundless, and then there is no need to seek and search in the world
Everything you seek is already within you
There was once a time when others had to show you what it felt like to be human, to feel love, to feel joy, to feel peace…but no one can show you anything that was not already inside yourself, we are all each other’s guides, I can tell there is a treasure inside your own heart more valuable than all the riches in the world, but only you can find it

You don’t have to do anything
Before you were born, you were nothing, there was nothing, no body, after you die, there will be nothing, no body
Why then do you think this form will last?
We are always clinging for something permanent
A sense of solidarity in this world of change
Yet all is slipping away
There’s no resisting
All is transient
So we place ourselves in the stars, we dream that our energies will ripple on, and create stories about how a piece of us will be permanent
Perhaps it will, for there is a piece of you that is infinite
Or perhaps we are creating more language and ideas as just another attempt to find some sense of permeance in an endless cycle of change
I have no answers
No one does, only beliefs
Only stories

For me, there is no purpose to life
It simply is, beyond words, beyond the mind and its endless creations
There is no goal
Life is the goal
There is no right and wrong
All is one

I say this now, I change my mind tomorrow
I can see the world ten-thousand ways
Yet people want consistency
I was once a single cell, and you want me to be consistent?!
Do not be absurd, all is change
Those who are consistent are stuck repeating the past,
I am spontaneous
I’m free to be and act in the moment, there is no need to be consistent

I used to try and to be someone and try to accomplish specific goals
But my pursuit of limited goals only caused me to live with blinders, seeking only my own aims, as if I knew what I should be doing with my time
Then I let go
And allowed life to flower in ways i could never have dreamed with my small mind
I simply trust
For I was never in control in the first place
May I remind you that we were all once a single cell and now we are 100 trillion cells
What part did you play in that growth?
Do you spin the galaxies into orbit?
And cause the rains to fall?
Perhaps a part of you does, but so long as your awareness is focused like a spot light on the world outside yourself, tinkering with small projects, where will you find the time to move into a receptive state in which you can merge with the part of you that is infinite

But… we must combat war they urge us
and climate change
and ten-thousand things outside ourselves
Yes and no
There are no problems outside of yourself, you are the only problem you need to worry about, go within and purify your own Being and watch the entire cosmos shift in a beautiful way
The problem solver is the problem creator
you simply must cut the root
you simply must let go
We have become too influenced by the ideas of men and women come and gone
we are conditioned on an unconscious level to think we must do good things to weigh against the bad things – we have deep seated fear rooted in our psyche of being hed for our sins
then there’s karma and reincarnation
maybe
there are ten-thousand ideas planted in our heads

Are they your experience? Or are you listening to a book, an influential person, or a charismatic speaker?

Life is still a mystery to me
I’ve had out of body experiences, near death experiences, thousands of visionary experiences, synchronicities I can’t explain, prophetic dreams, the list goes one, and yet I don’t know anything, I am as blank as my own birth
I’m not simply a doubter, I understand the power of belief, I also understand the damage that beliefs cause
Beliefs are stories we tell
I don’t mean that in a small way, the stories we live by are where we derive meaning and perception
That’s no joke, your beliefs can influence and alter reality like a dream
But they are just stories, and perceptions are just images and sensations
I see no reason why there would not be an infinite amount of stories and perceptions available to the mind to experience
What you believe becomes your reality in so far as you truly believe…nothing is more beautiful and dangerous

That is why I keep coming back to raw experience as ‘truth’, if you want to call it that
Experience needs to no words, they only get in the way and add a layer of confusion
experience simply is
Like the sound of the drum
or the rain falling on a tin roof
Or the sound of lovers kissing
That’s life
it exists to know itself through experience
It exists for no purpose other to be

Sex sex sex

 

 

Sex is one of the most misunderstood and misused actions a human can perform

It can be the highest and most sacred union of two Beings to create life

Or it can be just fuckin’, and hitting that shit raw dog and bailin’

It can be a conscious and romantic art of the highest healing potential

Or it can be dirty memory so dark, you’ll try and hide it from yourself

Yet the energetic exchange of sex can leave lasting imprints

And herpes don’t’ go away either

 

Sex is biological and physical

But it can also be emotional and spiritual

It can be compulsive or conscious

Many people don’t know what their life is like when its not ruled by their constant desire for sexual gratification

It takes a prolonged and conscious period of abstinence to reach beyond

The same is true of our desire for food

And pleasurable substances

It can take time away to master the urge to compulsively feed our desire for sense gratification

When a person goes beyond their desire for sex, they experience a kind of freedom from the body

This transcendence may be temporary or permanent

 

Sex is easy to abuse

It’s so simple to pleasure yourself

Just a flick of the wrist away

Hijack that pleasure system

See where it gets you

12 hours of self-stimulation

Days and years of tuggin’ or playin’

Hundreds of partners

Where does the road lead?

 

For a man

He must ask, is he sleeping with women and holding them in the highest?

Or are they just places to stick the dick?

If you want to experience dimensions of life that are beyond the self, your incessant need to stimulate yourself is only tethering you to your body

No judgment, do as you will, your choice is yours

 

But sex can be an act of love too

A true union

An act of transcendence

A dance of the souls

A gift from spirit

 

But it must be treated as sacred, each love-making must be conscious and treated with care and grace

The night should be devoted to washing, preparing, cleansing, and purifying the body temple

If one is to truly orgasm, every cell must awaken

The process is beautiful, if it is done right

The process is never hurried

Nor do either of the parties ever lose control and turn into beasts

This does not mean the energies do not become aroused and fierce

It rather denotes a kind of control and mastery of inner energies

 

Most people merely organism in their genitals

Whereas master’s of the art of love, raise the energy up their spine and their entire Being orgasms

 

If at the end of your orgasm your life is not complete and you are not ready to die, the you have not climaxed

Each moment of love making is an art

It is not a means to some end; each moment is an end unto itself

Each moment is to be breathed in and tasted

Each moan is to be felt

Each touch should penetrate deep within your heart

Your bodies will dissolve, and your breath will synchronize as your energies become as one moving, breathing, bliss-body

 

To make love in this way, is how we should bring creation into being

To bring new life into this world as act of passionless and compulsive pleasure seeking is helping no one

To create a sacred union, and to make the act of creation the most celebrated and beautiful moment of giving and receiving, is a way to commit to love, and commit to raising a child in love and out of love

 

 

 

 

Near Death Experience

 

Hiking alone
Wild and free
Too many problems in the city, too much heartbreak at home
Travelling to the top, I took the trail
The way down, I carved my own
Sliding down sheets of ice, fuck walking, I’ll be ride this mountain
Flying down the hill in my Nike’s and my shorts
I’m all giggles

Till the end of the ice comes into view
And all that remains is a cliff to fall to my death
Turning around and slamming my body down
I scrape my bear bones and claws into the ice
I’m slowing down, but the edge is near
I stop in time, but I’m trembling in fear

What I thought was a short cut down the hill turns out to be a dead end
I try and scale the mountain up, but it’s a sheet of ice, it’s a one way street
No one even knows I’m on this hill
Do I scream and shout?
I’m not ready to die

I move laterally in hopes to find a way down
The hill is steep and can’t quit grip
I slip
I fall further down, before clinging on
I’m supressing emotion and decreasing my motion
Yet images are floating in my mind
It’s not my life that is flashing before my eye’s, it’s the felt presence of the people I love there with me now
My will to live, is my will to love
I gather myself, and my angels show me the way
Down I scale the side of the cliff, clinging to trees and branches
With any misstep I could be dead, each moment is lived fully
What could have been a 2 hour hike down the mountain, took 6 hours, and without any water or supplies
Meeting a passing river at the bottom was a greater gift then I’d ever been given

You’d think I’d learn
But I near drove my dad’s truck off a cliff months later
It took multiple trucks to pull his truck from falling over the mountain it teetered upon with me in it
And yet my life went on
I hung myself once, till I blacked out
Left my body
Got swept up in the ocean
I saved myself that time
Nearly caused my best friend to have a heart attack as she watched me struggle

I once wound up in the hospital in my early teens hallucinating for days
I once wound up bound up staying in the hospital for 2 months
I wound up in the police station a dozen times
I wound up in the wrong neighbourhood at the wrong time in Peru

One near death experience I left my body
I dissolved into light
I was torn atom from atom
I witnessed my parents age and die
I looked down upon my body, as my heart had stopped
Yet I was not sad
I was at peace
I went many places in the realms of light
And then I was sent back

2 years have passed and everything in my life has changed
It took 2 years to fully comprehend what had happened
When I almost died and came back, my mind repressed the memories of my own death
I would break down and cry every time I tried to think of what had happened

The last thing I remember is hearing, “this is what you always wanted, isn’t it?”
Yes it is
This is my dream
I am humbled to live it each day
The death of everything that I am is always coming
My time is always ticking
And when it comes, I will be calm and I will let go with ease and grace

The in-breath is effort, it brings in oxygen and life
The exhale falls away with ease and grace and releases all that is not needed
Breathing in with a smile
Breathing out to release

Breathing in peace
Breathing out peace
Until my last breath, I am in peace, for I have gone beyond and there is nothing to fear
I live a simple life, yet in an extraordinary way
I live beyond my body, watching over myself, as if from above
Simply observing, myself and others
Here for awhile, to love and smile
To live fully, and wholly
I am the watcher
I am the observer
I am Being
I am already dead
This life cannot take anything from me, for I have nothing
I am nothing
All shall be returned, from whence it came
I have no name
I am no body

On Love

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I remember the first time I fell in love
It was an awakening
An opening of the heart

Then I remember breaking up and breaking down
Slashed wrist
Numb and cold
Grey sky eyes

I remember falling in love again
Oh, what a sweet reminder of the beauty of life it was
In love I am alive, my world is brought to colour
I start to see life through her eye’s, I start to transcend myself and see the world a new way

Love heals by breaking the walls of the heart
The walls that I had build for all the times I felt rejected
Alone
Unloved
I built those walls, and she’s tearing them down
She is an angel

But people change
And what was a beautiful love, became a horrible black cloud
I would love again, but just a bit more jaded
The true romance dies when the memories still loom from the past
My mind was too aware of break ups, marriage, and divorce
The youthful fairy tale of love became unintelligent

Love is irrational, but only if we live in the mind and not through the heart
Which makes me think…
I wasn’t always rational
No one is born rational
I was a joyous and carefree child
Spontaneous and open to love

Then I went through a process of turning within to tear down my own walls, to find that same love within myself that I once needed someone else to show me
from the head to heart

I’ve come back to my heart
to fall in love with humanity
I fall in love with strangers
I fall in love with my house
I fall in love with my toes
I’m not being hyperbolic or silly, well maybe a little, but I do love toes
And why would you not want to love your house? I appreciate it, truly
The depth of your ability to love is a function of the openness of your heart
When you step into the dimension within yourself that is loving, when you learn to enter your own heart’s space, then you can live in this love
Other people can show us what it feels like to love, but they are only guides pointing us to our own heart
Love is not out in the world
It’s not to be found in someone else
It’s to be found in your own heart

Your love is boundless if you set it free
Your love begs for you to follow it
It won’t be rational
It won’t be secure
But none of the best love stories are safe and secure
They’re fairy tales
When you follow your heart and not your head your life will become a fairy tale
When I say ‘follow your heart’ I’m not talking about a relationship with another person, I’m talking about opening yourself to love, and being loved, and doing what you love

Maybe you love to write, or sing, or spend your days on the beach, or in the forest
The universe supports you
The world needs more love
The world needs more people who live from the heart

Humanity is living from the head, and not the heart
We are human beings, with heads and hearts, to live from just one of these dimensions of life is like only ever readings textbooks and never fiction
It’s like prose without poetry
It’s like life without colour
It’s like story without metaphor
It’s like yin without yang

The mind is infinite
Yet we spend most our time mentally talking to ourselves
Most thoughts are not insightful or brilliant, most of the are not even original ideas, we are just repeating patterns of the past and just chattering on and on
The truly insightful thoughts come out of deep silence
The mind needs tamed and calmed
The mind is a part of you, and if there was a part of you that continually went on and on without control, like a flailing arm, would you not try to find a way to calm it?
But even a calm mind is nothing without the heart
The heart allows you to feel not think
Love allows you to feel dimensions within yourself you often can’t seem to feel on your own

Love is the gift of eternal life
For to fall in love is to be reborn
It is to renew the openness to experience ourselves wholly as when we were a child
Love is one of the most precious gifts we can give
Yet how much time do we spend in a truly loving state
We don’t choose love
We choose other states
Love is always a choice
There is no one stopping you but yourself from turning within and opening yourself up to feel love, and share your heart with the world- without fear
To offer your heart to the world, is a beautiful prayer
I love
love