Conversations with the Higher Self.

[Beginning Introduction]

My mind is uneasy.

There is indecision my body and a lack of clarity.
My nervous system is out of harmony and my emotions keep getting congested.

I choose to turn within to find clarity on my situation by connecting with my higher self.


I am seated on a chair with both feet flat on the floor.
Situated in front of my altar, a holy host of items represent and carry the energy of my family and deepest bonds for this life.

The air is clear with incense smoke, and a single flame offers its light.


I imagine/create a golden orb of light above my head.
A smile to the orb and it descends down the front of my body.

Its warmth relaxes my judgement.
It illuminates and calms my face, neck, chest, stomach, legs and clears any energy in front of my body.

I create a second golden orb and smile to the orb and see it smiling back.
This one descends the back side of my body, clearing the energy field behind me.
A third orb arises above my head, and I open my crown and fill my brain, eyes, thyroid, heart, lungs, and all my organs, spinal cord, and bones with light that drains away and purifies my whole system.
My feet melt into the ground and grow golden tree roots.

I drop my awareness to connect with the earthly transpersonal chakra below my body.
I feel the forces of nature and call upon the owl and the snake.

I descend further into the earth and call upon the 4 elements.

Still further I travel until I reach the heart of mother earth, and I connect with love and appreciation to Pachamama.

She sends her energy up my golden tree roots and they ascend the back channel of my legs and spine.
At the top of my head they wrap around piercing my third eye, and traveling down into my lower tantien (low belly) where there is a cauldron waiting for this earth energy.

It fills the cauldron and creates golden earth energy steam which irrigates my entire body, cleansing and purifying. It spills out my palms and encircles the energy around me and clears the space.
I then ascend my consciousness above my head connecting with the soul star chakra above my head which holds the templates, archetypes, and wisdom of the my higher self.

I ascend my consciousness higher still on a wave of light and connect with the ascended masters on my path and the divine virtues.

Still higher my consciousness ascends until it becomes one with the Tao.

From form to formless, matter to light, into void.
From the void I return with a silver cord of heavenly light that descends into my crown and illuminates my spine. It fills my upper, middle, and lower tantien. As it fills my lower tantien it opens my 7 major chakras…red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and indigo. My whole being is becoming a vessel of light and it begins to leak out of every pour filling my 3 wei qi fields (associated with the energy of the physical, emotional, and mental bodies).

I am now illuminated with light from heaven and earth, as is my sacred environment.
I connect back up into my higher self chakra.


The moment I make connection with my higher self my state shifts into ease.

The feeling is one of unconditional love.
Suddenly all my worries seem trivial as I connect with the part of me who has been through these challenges. My higher self shares its light with love and compassion for where I’m at…something I’ve not been doing consistently for myself.

I use to have such trouble connecting with my higher voice of wisdom, until I learnt of my true nature as light. The truth is, that there is a part of me in time, and an eternal self. I also use to only think I could reach ascended states by means of copious disciplines and practices such as yoga, or taking powerful medicines such as Ayahuasca. When I discovered the only thing blocking the light of my soul from entering into this moment was me, I had a good laugh. Though I am connected with my higher guidance, I am still learning to listen and let go of the way I want things and to follow my highest path.


I’m feelings lost. I don’t know which spiritual practice/path is right for me…Ayahuasca, Yoga? Qigong? I don’t know if living in Squamish is where I am meant to grow and be.

****good good. Be lost. Explore what it feels like to be lost. Embrace where you are at in your cycle. All paths lead you home. It is important for you to loosen your desire to achieve on your spiritual journey. Your ambition stems from your love, and also from a place of feeling like you need to be something other than what you are, which is perfect. The path you choose will be the right one. Loosen your grip with trying to figure it out with your mind, your life is an adventure, and your feeling lost right now, but you secretly love this dance of polarity. Focus on the choices you’re making in this moment, that Is where your answer and freedom lies. When you are making the choice to be fully present, the path will be clear.

Ugh. I always want a straight answer. But, of course my mind does. It wants safety and security. I see how my ego is entangled in my spiritual ambition. I have been out of harmony, tilted towards effort and yang as a means of control since I’ve had a number of financial challenges recently. Do you have any guidance in dealing with my financial situation and creating the abundance to move forward with my dreams?

***Yes. Get use to thriving in insecurity. Learn to acquire your riches in gratitude and change your attitude, and then your finances won’t carry the weight they are currently. You said it yourself, find harmony within yourself and ease up on the effort. You have come into this life to learn about love, not to become a worldly success. Your soul has incarnated to know truth. The task you are currently faced with is finding what your soul truly desires and following it, the rest will come, and money should not be as large of a factor as it is in your decision making. If you want to follow your highest path, how much skin in the game do you have, what are you willing to give up? Do you want abundance or truth? I’m not saying it’s not possible to have both, but, I urge you to get clear in each moment where your directing your energy and focus to.

Received. I know your not going to actually tell me, because you never give straight answers…but, I’m going to ask anyway. Can you tell me about the woman, or women, or whatever my love situation is and give me clarity.

*** Once more, your feeling lost now, and this is a necessary part of knowing what it feels like to be found. Surrender into the truth of this moment and be with that. Then, when your truth shifts, it will be clear.
Your right. I do love the mystery. Why is it so obvious when you say it?

*** It is a fundamental limitation with the mind and intellect you are currently operating in. The mind knows only what it has been and thus created. The individual mind is stuck in its own limitations. This is where the self-renewing beauty of life lies, in that the mind you have will always be transcended and evolution can continue. Sit back, witness and enjoy the ride.

What can I do to help the planet in this time?

***I understand your inquiry. But, what you are to do in this moment or any other moment is no different. Act in accordance with the spontaneous and natural flow of your love while operating in your truth. People often get, how would one say this….frazzled and passionate in times of great shifts. But, this moment in history is no different than any other moment. Your eternal nature is no more or less different in these times. Remember that, your eternal nature is changeless, and you change. You will experience highs and lows, ascending consciousness and descending consciousness…and all are just the dualities of your experience to know. That which persists through the polarities is your eternal nature. It does not need merit or achievement, dissolving these belief structures is important to staying more present with your eternal nature.

I knew you wouldn’t give me a straight answer. Okay, final question.
Is there anything I’m currently doing or eating that you would recommend I don’t do or do less of to help me find alignment?

***Think less, love more to balance. Harmonize your effort with ease. Your diet and exercise routines are fine, though spending more time to choose ones in accordance with your body’s needs and not your minds desires is important, as is creating a greater dedication and appreciation. Pause more, to keep your breath witnessing active throughout the day. And invite in your ancestors and guides with your song as your pray and they will lift your voice up so that you can offer your voice as medicine.

Thank you.



This was a conversation with my higher guidance.
The induction is segment of the protocol I have learnt in my Shamanic Qigong course. If you’d like to learn to channel your higher self, feel free to ask any questions or come for a session and I can help you get started. Our higher self is, as the writing stated, is the part of your that is eternal and has already overcome your future scenario. We have free will and thus we can always choose to make different decisions and create different timelines and your higher self has access to all the information of every life you have lived.

In general, and it depends on your higher self, they won’t divulge direct information because the future is unknown for us until we choose. My higher self, like myself, is quite comical a lot of the time, and sometimes even playfully pokes fun at my frustrations on wanting to figure things out.

Through these conversation with my higher self I find guidance and a sense of ease…often with no new information or answers being divulged! Though sometimes there are specific recommendations for foods, activities etc. It depends on your higher self! It’s about
self-empowerment, and my higher self has the wisdom to offer me the guidance I need which will offer me the most growth. Instead of offering me answers it often encourages me to just be where I’m at and offers a sense of love, light, and compassion…which is truly all I was needing from myself in this session.


  • Aya

On Art.

Are you Depressed?
Make art.
Become Art.
Live totally.

You’re a song.
Whether you choose to sing or rest in silence, your vibration is heard for those listening.

You’re a sculpture.
Your body is a temple.

Your delicious.

Art is the language of the soul.
It gives birth to meaning, and lives beyond sense.
It is above mind, and therefore, it extends beyond time.

Art is….
The death of your lover.
Christ on the cross.
Pandemic pizza parties.

Life is art.

Take your perspective.
See it for what it is.
Or add something new.

Through art you can understand your life.
Not by making sense of it. But, by stepping into your senses and becoming one with life.
True understanding is not what you say with words.
It’s how you be.

Art is free.
Beyond hierarchy.
If someone tells you your art sucks.
See clearly.
If someone tell you your art rocks.
See clearly.

Beyond right or wrong.
Good or bad.
See it clearly.

Art is living in the moment before the word has formed.
The dance of creation never stops.
Not even in death.
Penetrate life through metaphor and see that even prose is poetry.
Behind every word is the world.
Behind every death is another door.

The artist is a creator.
The artist is The creator.
And the created.
Paradox is art.
Try to understand it and you’ll get confused.
Try to understand life and you’ll get confused.
Don’t try and figure out the beat, your body knows just how to move.

Remember, when life gets you down.
When your stuck and bored.
Draw another perspective and become something new.
The old you has problems.
How about a new story.

Your expression matters.
Your emotions matter.
Or not.
Be bold enough to not care…like sticking a flower down the barrel of a gun.
Laugh into the next life.
Make death your wife.
She’s awfully seducing.
She has many people enamored.
But, if you marry her, then two can become one, and your old life can be done.

What’s tomorrow’s story gonna be?
Will we write the story of when we decided to be free?
Who cares.
Art love adversity.
Let’s just agree to create consciously?

What do I know.
I’m just fingers on a keyboard.

Oh, How I Crave You

Oh, How I crave to have you alone in my home
I desire to wrap us in silence
Until our song is heard
I would wait there, breathing gently
Tasting the sweet air
Until every cell of my body has taken you in

In the loving silence, I can hear your heartbeat
No words are necessary
Fuck their way, let us get to know one another from the way that we breath and take in life force

I want to see the soft ripple of energy enter into you
Watching your chest expand
Seeing your body become full of life
I am consumed

The gentle breath allows the subtle sensation to bloom
I crave to feel my glands secrete the secret language of our chemistry
It’s about energy exchange

When the silence has been deeply penetrated, there will be no you and I
Synchronized sighs are a sign to see that we are coming into coherence

Coming closer now, eternity is where I’ll find you
Waiting tirelessly to touch you
Romance is initiated by the intention of the heart
We can look into one another’s eyes for as long as it takes to bring the furnace to heat
When finally our two lips meet, it will be like the first
The perception of reality is in the perceiver, and if your willing to let go of the past, we can start a love story
Two beings in their full power, free from the conditioning and patterns of previous lovers
Then it is our world to discover, or create
Masculine and feminine, we can play both, I’ll be hard and you be soft… You’ll tell me how you want me, and I’ll surrender to your will. It’s all a divine drama and I crave to make love to your divine.
Our Sex is the most sacred offering.
It is ultimate expression of our highest and lowest order
And when we dissolve without border
Then there will be one breath, and a trillion cells dancing in ecstasy

The goal is union
To dissolve so couragely in the face of love, that death becomes an illusion.
With a love such as ours, the ripples leave a wake that will wash the sins of the world away

You know the stars above?
Each holds the record of a true marriage, they are displayed high in the sky, to remind us of where we will go when we learn to give
And receive
Let us not leave any aspect of consciousness uncovered
My tongue can touch your entire flesh, but, my consciousness wants to touch every layer of your being
I’ll penetrate every Kosha
And balance all your dosha’s

Rama and Sita gonna be jealous
Jesus gonna come back to witness our love
Buddha may even get distracted from his meditation when he hears us mirthing
Just playing,
I mean no harm
But, a little joking, and a little pain, all have their place in love
A bite here and there, it’s only fair
You know we are animals as much as divine
Let’s meet in the middle and be humans for awhile
Travel the world and see our reflections in thousand beautiful faces
Watch our love reflect in the rain drops

You know the stage of life is the perfect place for love
Richer or poorer, if it’s got that heart, It’s worth our life to give

So then, I wonder…
I hear you in the silence
Your love calls even when I’m not home by the phone
One day I’ll pick up
But, for now…


Spiritual Inter-course

This is a discourse
On the delicate web of love
8 limbs of yoga is how I show you my dedication

Yama and niyama, this rap gonna end with us in our pijammas

I have more to say
And I’d like to tell you with my tongue
But, not with my speech

Circling back now
Back door, on the floor
More sadhana
And naughty shodhana

Ida and pingala
It’s either you gal or imma keep praying with my mala

You see im just looking for another light to share my love with
Get high above with
And realize the all in one with
Give our gifts and do heavy lifts
Not just with weights, let’s lift the density and replace sorrow with the sacred

I’m seeing your divine
If you were a powder, I’d do a line
To bring you in my mind

I don’t want you to be mine
Your sovereignty is not virginity
No one can take it

I’m not about love possession
That shits depressin’
Fuck repression
I’m here to hold space for the highest expression

There’s a lot of beautiful women in the world
Many are aligned
But which to choose?

We probably agree that corruption is spelt big pharma

But, but can you ride with me as I serve my dharma?
No bad karma

I know this won’t alarm ya
Because your wise and mindful
You see in me what I can’t see in myself
So I promise to be conscious

Let’s hold the space for it all
And rewrite the scripture of The Fall
We are not born in sin
That’s a shitty way to begin

Let’s start off as empty and let our authentic essence evolve our understanding
Then let’s remember who we were before
Forever more
And be reborn a new
So that our love don’t grow stale

Let’s birth this moment with whatever arises
Patterns are temporary songs
And I’m just here singing on this earth for a short while
Times passing and I’ve got a million ways to make you smile

And I don’t mean I got a pile jokes
I simply know the way to yoke
Which is another word for union
That’s the way to happiness
When two become one

Speaking of two beings becoming
Whose open to learn Taoist love cultivation?
Microcosmic orbit meditation is the actualization of everything you never knew you wanted

Practiced by bringing light through the body
Sometimes imagined as a pearl
It teaches sacred love for spiritual realization
Speaking of pearl, spiritual sex makes the toes unfurl
Tongue twirl

Don’t ya know spiraling the hips gathers more energy than a thrust?
365 acupuncture points, 1 year to discover ever part of you

Some will judge our ways
For fear
Others will stay clear

But purity lives in the heart
And the courageous know how to walk the fine line

In time we’ll realize it all
And be connected to the One

For now let’s dedicate our time to our gifts
and give our love away

That’s all I’m really here to say

And I’m out

Sensual Lullaby

I had her up the wall.
In the moment before we truly embraced, she stripped me down.
Her eyes saw me, and I crumbled for a moment.
She dissolved every lie I was wearing and through her staring she uncovered the lost child that was waiting to come out.
She did not flinch.

Her care was evident as her heart switched tunes to match mine.
Finally, freed.
We opened ourselves into one another’s eternity and became deaf to what the noise was saying.

It was not long before we were undressed. It happened even before we took our clothes off.
It happened the moment we saw what was underneath the skin.

I began to wear a new smile, and she stopped worrying about the sound of her song.
She simply sang, you could even hear her in the silence. Her muse became the music of her aura. The air around her forgave her absence

Heaven dipped down and kissed the earth that day with star light
We were reborn in the wake of love.

This is not (simply) a love story.
It’s a death with no funeral.
She murdered me, and I smiled.

The sheets we lay upon were soft.
But her skin is softer.

Her taste knows no limits.
She has all my favourite flavours.

Layer after layer I get to know this life through her eyes.
The gift of true vision is to see beauty from the eyes of another.

For too long I looked upon the world from such a simple place.
Now I see with 7 billion eyes.
When the door of love is opened to one, the one leads to the all.
Love is the rainbow bridge.

These moments are not lasting.
So we forgive mistakes and raise the stakes of what we are willing to do.

It’s all apart of living on the edge of possibility.

It took till now to know I’d been waiting my whole life for this moment.
When you find that piece, the puzzle makes sense.
Gentle compassion is a natural virtue to arise when the trial is over.

There is no truth I would not tell. And holding onto them would bring me to hell. For we are but tenders of a sacred fire. The fuel of love is nothing other than truth.
All else is masturbation.

So then, since this day of becoming, has life turns out my way?
Has fortune come and the sick become healed?
Death still lives near my home.

We visit her every so often with flowers. A small gift to bear.
Flowers are sure to die when they are plucked and put in a vase.
Yet, they are beautiful in brevity. A reminder that love in this arrangement is no permanent stay.